The X-Files nerd in me is entirely too excited.

Are you there Xenu? It's me, Lil.

That’s right, ALIENS!

Personally (and this is my opinion as a reasonably informed and rational person, not an X-Files enthusiast), I’ve never written off the possibility of extraterrestrials. When you consider how incredibly vast the universe is, I’d say it’s a downright self-aggrandizing mindset to think we’re the only living creatures in its entirety. It is far too big, and has been around for far too long not to have had another life form attempt to discover its mysteries, just like we have.

That’s just my opinion on the topic of aliens. When it comes to this video, I’m not sure what to believe. The question of whether it’s real or not doesn’t concern me as much as why our government would be so lax as to just let it leak, if it were real. It seems to me that with all the effort they’ve gone to in order to “protect” us from terrorism in our own world, the possibility of mysterious visitors with unknown intentions from another world would send them falling all over themselves to cover it up and secretly find a way to get them before they get us. Hate to say it, but that’s just the way our leaders work, as a whole we’re just not as progressive as we’d like to believe (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, anyone?). Of course there also the possibility that what I just surmised has been going on for decades now, and the government is letting this go for reasons unbeknownst to the rest of us.

Either way, should this ultimately lead to the worldwide exposure of extraterrestrial life, I have some predictions. First and foremost, if it really is the first time they’ve made contact with us, I predict our leaders will see them as a threat. This is the least favorable circumstance, as considering they had the technology to get here, they’d probably have the technology to turn our planet to dust. Hopefully our leaders are smarter than that and would attempt to learn from them rather than wage war. If that’s the case, then I also predict mass panic to spread worldwide. I figure most of these people will be religious or gullible folks and the “end of the world” frenzy we saw in 1999 will come back full force, with mass suicides being planned and executed throughout the world. Now, I’m not trying to offend religious people (if I was, you’d know it), but if you consider an alien visitor’s role in various religious texts and doctrines, you’ll probably find that…well…there isn’t one (meanwhile, the Scientologists sit on the sidelines, sipping Chianti and giggling uncontrollably).  And those groups unable to think and function outside the box of their religious beliefs will have an awfully rough time adjusting…and let’s face it, it would hardly be the first time religion has been the cause of mass death.

Now keep in mind that my predictions aren’t nearly as factually sound as, oh, say…Sylvia Browne (number 40 is the reference, but be sure to check out the rest of the “wouldn’t it be nice if..” list), simply educated guesses based on my perception of our world.

Personally, I think it would be awesome, and I wholeheartedly welcome our new alien overlords!  FREE HEALTHCARE PLZ.

But it’s completely satirical!

Turns out the mockumentary screenplay I’ve been writing in my spare time probably won’t see the light of day anytime soon. Not unless I can collaborate with like-minded individuals about extracting the comedic elements of dead baby eating.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “How can eating dead babies not be funny?!”

I know, and I’ve asked myself that very question throughout this entire process. However, the whole point of a mockumentary is depicting ridiculous happenings in a real sort of way. So, in order to do so, I’ve actually had to come up with scenarios in which some unbalanced entrepreneur could actually go about starting and supplying a catering service specializing in dead baby.

Well…I’ve actually done that. I created a very intricate process from which the main character is supplied dead babies for cooking. I’ve written it in a way that it’s completely plausible for the audience to believe the main character is doing this. The problem is working it around in a way that’s, well…funny. Don’t get me wrong, the end result of trying to launch a business of serving people dead babies? Hilarious. However, the process leading to the supply of dead babies? Not as funny as I would’ve hoped. In fact it’s rather morbid for the prospect of a mockumentary.

So, this project gets put on the back burner until I can find a way to make it less morbidly disturbing and more darkly comedic. Not that I regret it, it was damn fun to write. Except for the fact that if anyone read it as is, they’d likely think me a psychopath. Sigh.

Obligatory Intro

So I made a blog.

Honestly, I don’t expect this to amount to much more than a casual side project. In fact, the word “project” itself seems like a major overstatement. However, I made it, and I feel like I should explain why…and I suppose, divulge a bit about myself.

My name is Lillian.

I’m 21 years old and I’ve lived in Newark, New Jersey my entire life. I feel like I exemplify the definition of “wasted potential”. Throughout my childhood, I’d always been an overachiever, a good student, and a good kid. When high school came, I hit a 180 and spent the next four years exhibiting the bare minimum of my potential. Why? I’m still not sure.

I graduated high school in 2004 with a mediocre grade point average and went to Kean University. I dropped out after a month. This was for a number of reasons. First of all, a two hour train commute is an awful start to any day, and I was walking around campus tired and angry before my classes even started. Second of all, it was entirely too difficult to find like-minded people there. My social anxiety combined with my own personal curse of keen observational skills makes me hyper sensitive to displays of douchebaggery, which I now know is found on any college campus, but back then was too wrapped up in distaste for my surroundings to realize.

The next few years consist of me trying and failing to continue my education. This is probably my greatest regret in life, but I haven’t given up yet. Right now, I think this is largely due to my not knowing what the hell to do with my life and not wanting to waste my parents’ money. I know I’m intelligent, and I have many varied interests, but currently haven’t the means nor the willpower to jump into a four year academic commitment for a profession that I’m not even sure I’m cut out for. My current short term goal is to earn enough to move out of my parents’ house.  I feel this will give me the confidence boost I need to get my life together, and eventually go back to school part time without the financial strain on my parents; because despite the shambles my life is in at the moment, I have every intention to finish school. I read constantly, in a lame attempt to compensate for not being in college.

As you see now, I’m in a rut. I made this blog as an outlet for my frustrations. And I certainly have a lot of frustration. Thus, the title of this blog being, Periodic Inexplicable Bitterness. Expect brutal honesty and snarkiness and, maybe, the occasional “something went right and I’m happy” post. Basically, I made this for me, and I’m going to use it.