And now for an installment of…

“Don’t Be Stupid, You Fucking Idiot!”

In this case, we have a fucking idiot 15 year-old girl from Newark, Ohio.  This genius was arrested for sending naked pictures of herself to her classmates. 

But that doesn’t strike me as the funny part. 

The funny part is how she is denying the charges.  Bitch, when the charge has to do with your naked pictures, just the fact that they had enough to charge you at all pretty much means you did it.  It’s fucking documented.  They would have no case if you were, in fact, not guilty.  Your naked pictures, and the naked pictures received by everyone you sent them to, is their case.

Did you happen to trip out of the shower in an inconvenient “sexy” pose while some mystery culprit simultaneously snapped a photo?  If so, good luck proving your case.  If not, own up to the fact that you did something profoundly stupid and get to repairing your demolished reputation.  That is, if you’re not thrown in Juvi, where I’m sure you’ll make lots of friends when you tell the other gals how you got there.

Don’t get me wrong, if she wants to mail 8×10 glossies of her vag to every adult male in Ohio when she’s eighteen, more power to her.  It’s her body and her reputation, thus, hers to destroy as she see’s fit.  But to be so blatant about it when she probably just grew in her pubes a couple of years beforehand is grossly reckless and flat-out stupid.  In fact, perhaps it’s in her best interest that the cops got to her before some sinister, unbalanced pedophile did.

The sad part is that she is by no means the only fucking idiot teenager doing this kind of shit.  It came with the dawn of MySpace, where little Sally in Podunk, Tennessee realized she could get a fuckton of attention in her wee town by throwing up near-nude/nude pictures of her 13 year-old self online.  That mindset became an epidemic among young ignorant teenagers and a whole new era of child pornography was born.  The kind of child pornography that was intended for that cute guy in Bio class who you were hoping would start liking you as a result, who instead forwards said picture to all of his friends, who in turn, post them on an imageboard like 4Chan, and all of a sudden you’re famous!  

Famous among the underground pedophile miscreants of the interweb.  Congratulations!

…No, there’s no substantial “message” intended with this post.  I just hate dumb teenagers.  Even when I was a dumb teenager, I hated dumb teenagers.

So don’t be stupid, you fucking idiot teenagers!

Guess who’s not laughing anymore…

THIS ONE!

The country is going to hell in a handbasket.  I don’t know wtf I’m going to do about school.  I don’t know wtf I’m going to do if I get sick.  I’m working 9AM to 6PM every day for practically pittance.  It’s going to be enough for me and James to move, but we’ll basically be living paycheck to paycheck and will have to make a fuckton of sacrifices.  So much for my going back to school, if I’m even offered a loan to do it.  Theres not much class time to squeeze into my schedule.

Out of everything thats happened, what strikes me as the most heartbreaking personally, is the fact that I’m helpless to do anything about my parents’ future.  They will be working for the rest of their lives.  I would give anything to alleviate the burden on them, but with a doosy of a situation on my own, it’s simply not going to be feasible.

I’m frustrated.  I’m angry.  I’m scared.  I’m broke.

So I wrote a letter to the candidates.  Fuckall if it’ll do anything, but I couldn’t not try to make my voice heard somehow.  It was sent to both camps just a few minutes ago.

It reads:

Senators,

I am a 22 year old from Newark, NJ. My community has been wrought with violence and corruption for years, up until we elected Cory Booker and finally began seeing some positive change.

Unfortunately, despite all that, my life situation along with those of the millions of other lower/middle class in the country, are looking increasingly grim each day. Personally, I have no health insurance. This is because I was removed from my parent’s plan when I had to leave college, and work full time to move out of my home and decrease the financial burden on my parents, who have worked hard all their lives with limited education to put myself and my 13 year old brother through Catholic schools; a decision made because of the turbulent atmosphere of our community.

I am deeply troubled when I read articles about the wealthy Wall Street workers and CEO’s maintaining their vast wealth despite the crisis, while the rest of us who won’t see a fraction of that kind of money in our lifetime are the ones expected to make the sacrifices and bear the burden. This bailout plan doesn’t seem to be helping anyone except those who have already helped themselves and gotten us to this point to begin with.

My parents now have no retirement to look forward to and will presumably be living paycheck to paycheck for the rest of their lives. I, as the firstborn, feel much more pressure to educate myself, and secure a good job to help ensure they won’t have to be going through the daily 9 to 5 grind at age 60 and up. However, I can’t afford to go to back to college! At age 22, instead of finishing my education and moving on to bigger and better things, I am working 45 hour work weeks with no health insurance and can still just BARELY afford to live on my own, much less help my parents.

What is this bailout package doing for us? Why should the people who caused this problem be allowed to maintain their millions? Why are we, the average citizens, reading about AIG executives taking a $400,000 “holiday” at our expense? Why should the Wall Street fat cats be in charge of our economic lives while they maintain their riches at our expense and blame the lower/middle class for the crisis and our “inability to live within our means”. If they looked around an urban community like the kind I’ve been apart of my entire life, they’d see that no ones trying to “scam” their way into getting government funds, most of us are simply trying to survive and feed our families. And those who were supplied with overbearing mortgages they can’t afford were done an incredible disservice by the lenders, who only care about their cut and nothing about the path of financial doom they’re setting their clients on.

I see nothing in this bailout package that will benefit me or my family in the ways of healthcare, the exorbitant cost of gas, the possibility of losing our homes or helping students continue their education so we can secure good jobs and won’t be stuck cleaning up this mess for the rest of our lives.

Senators, I implore you to do your best to approach this situation with consideration to the lower/middle class. The class disparity in this country is atrocious. I’d like to call the bailout for what it is: a lifeline for the fat cats. To hear both of your defenses of the bailout was most discouraging. People like us need to see some reassurance that we won’t be forgotten in the fray, since we are the ones suffering the consequences. Our fundamental rights to home, health and happiness are being robbed from us. We need to level the playing field and stop allowing the wealthy to abundantly prosper while the rest of us are left to struggle. When did the “land of opportunity” become the land of greed and disparity?

Regards,

Lillian Rivera

Newark, NJ

I know I’m kidding myself even putting in the effort to write this.  I strongly anticipate the McCain camp stealing the election, as I believe the Republicans have done in the two preceding elections.

But for some reason, I maintain a shred of hope.

I guess at this point, I should just start considering it a character flaw.


Political LULZ

I has them.

In fact, that’s all I even need to say.  Everyone and their evangelical minister has something to say about the election, so I feel like it’s officially become redundant to say anything.  Obviously, I’m still going to, though I’ll try not to preach…I’ll just leave that to FOX news and their remarkably two-faced journalism style (i.e. Palin’s “struggle” with the sexist liberal media vs. Hilary’s “whining”).  I know you’ve heard it all before.

Personally, I’ve made my decision.  Though I’ve always considered partisan politics to be two sides of the same oppressive coin being pandered to the people in order to create for them a false sense of control, I usually try to weigh issues and pick the lesser of the two evils.  Do I honestly believe my vote makes a difference?  It’s a layered answer.  I don’t believe it does a damn thing in our nations best interest, since most of us are completely ignorant to the lengths our government can and has gone through to control things much less important than the U.S. Presidency.  If the boys really had their heart set on a candidate they feel to be the most obedient scapegoat while they do their real damage behind the scenes, it wouldn’t take much more than another “ballot mishap” to make it happen.  I find the whole process to be not much more than smoke and mirrors and it’s difficult for me to take any campaign promise with a grain of salt.  Yes, even from His Holiness, Barack Obama.

However, I do understand the difference between 1) being bitter and miserable in the midst of a police state no different than today, and 2) being bitter and miserable in prison after Congress does away with net neutrality, Homeland Security searches my computer and arrests me for downloading illegal Un-American media and literature, as well as two seasons of The Office.  It sounds far-fetched until someone reminds you that McCain doesn’t use the internet and Stalin Palin might very well be the chief influence about laws regarding things like free speech and free press.  As described by the Washington Post, this is a woman who…

…opposes programs that teach girls how not to get pregnant, lobbies against their right to decide whether to have a child, then kills social programs that exist to cushion the impact of those policies. She then has the gall to trot out her own pregnant daughter as a symbol for “family values.”

Oh yeah, such a warm and fuzzy history with womens’ personal freedoms, she’s bound to be a triumphant advocate for free speech.  Oh, nevermind, according to this Time Magazine article, she’s prone to desire book banning:

[Former Wasilla mayor] Stein says that as mayor, Palin continued to inject religious beliefs into her policy at times. “She asked the library how she could go about banning books,” he says, because some voters thought they had inappropriate language in them. “The librarian was aghast.” The librarian, Mary Ellen Baker, couldn’t be reached for comment, but news reports from the time show that Palin had threatened to fire her for not giving “full support” to the mayor.

This leads me to imagine frightening scenarios where checking off the “Atheist” box on some idle meme means being carried off to some Woodstock-like Christian bonfire and set on fire while thousands of Evangelicals look on in glee.   Ok, I’m going with extremes for humor’s sake, but you know what I mean.  This is why I vote.  In blind hope that it’ll make a difference…for the times where the lesser of two evils means nothing beneficially changing as opposed to waking up in 1984.

Sigh.

I dunno, guys.  I’m at a crossroad.  When I was younger and more idealistic I fully believed in the power of the people.  The notion that the lower/middle class could come together and rise up against the top 2%, unify to make a change in our own country, take power from the few who have it and seek to selfishly profit at the expense of the laborers and put it into the hands of the people.  I believed and still believe in the power of solidarity.

But this election…makes me sad.  In the sense that people don’t seem to care what the government does with our personal freedoms or our relations with the hundreds of other countries we share the planet with, but rather God (since he’s the only god that matters, obviously), who some politician sucked/fucked, flag pins and black and white social issues.  Grey areas are naturally for commies and liberals.

I just wish the people who do care about the real world in 2008 (since most people in power are still living in the 60’s) would put aside petty differences that separate them and realize they could do much more for their cause by ensuring we live in a country where these decisions are ours to make.  As long as everyone refuses to look outside their own little box (*coughcoughreligioncoughcough*) and inform themselves one in awhile, we’re every bit the idiot hick country the rest of the world thinks we are.  And I remain cynical as to whether such a populace is worth the effort.

Till then, the only ideal I can agree with and wholeheartedly push is this.

Solidarity

So it got a bit preachy.

Sue me, its the motherfuckin election.

Dear Generic Hipster,

Please stop trying to be “deep” and “insightful”.

You are neither.

My eyeballs ache from excessive rolling every time I debase myself to read one of your posts.

Stop acting like they aren’t cries for attention, to get responses that praise your “depth” and “insight”.

Anyone who actually believes these “thoughts” you spew aren’t completely the product of a superficial desire to be likened to Johnny Depp (or insert any additional hipster gods) is a moron, or as much of a tool as yourself.

I’m not talking about any one person, but rather a plethora of one dimensional (however desperately you attempt to prove otherwise) cookie cutter, dime-store “tortured artists/intellectuals” that bleed their hearts out for the masses, hoping and praying someone notices their efforts and marvels at what a profoundly unique being you are.

The truth is, you are not special. You are not unique. Even the laziest browse through random other Facebooks/MySpaces will prove just that (“HEY, this asshole wears stupid 80’s cereal box prize sunglasses and a weird yellow knitted bucket hat thing too! And the same Catcher in the Rye quote!”). Stop trying so hard and the grounded, more quality people will grow to respect you, instead of the harem of douchebaggery you cater to now.

I honestly don’t hate you, I simply dislike being forced to wrap my mind around these shoddy, nonsensical walls of text you try to pass off as “original thought”.

That is all.

The X-Files nerd in me is entirely too excited.

Are you there Xenu? It's me, Lil.

That’s right, ALIENS!

Personally (and this is my opinion as a reasonably informed and rational person, not an X-Files enthusiast), I’ve never written off the possibility of extraterrestrials. When you consider how incredibly vast the universe is, I’d say it’s a downright self-aggrandizing mindset to think we’re the only living creatures in its entirety. It is far too big, and has been around for far too long not to have had another life form attempt to discover its mysteries, just like we have.

That’s just my opinion on the topic of aliens. When it comes to this video, I’m not sure what to believe. The question of whether it’s real or not doesn’t concern me as much as why our government would be so lax as to just let it leak, if it were real. It seems to me that with all the effort they’ve gone to in order to “protect” us from terrorism in our own world, the possibility of mysterious visitors with unknown intentions from another world would send them falling all over themselves to cover it up and secretly find a way to get them before they get us. Hate to say it, but that’s just the way our leaders work, as a whole we’re just not as progressive as we’d like to believe (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, anyone?). Of course there also the possibility that what I just surmised has been going on for decades now, and the government is letting this go for reasons unbeknownst to the rest of us.

Either way, should this ultimately lead to the worldwide exposure of extraterrestrial life, I have some predictions. First and foremost, if it really is the first time they’ve made contact with us, I predict our leaders will see them as a threat. This is the least favorable circumstance, as considering they had the technology to get here, they’d probably have the technology to turn our planet to dust. Hopefully our leaders are smarter than that and would attempt to learn from them rather than wage war. If that’s the case, then I also predict mass panic to spread worldwide. I figure most of these people will be religious or gullible folks and the “end of the world” frenzy we saw in 1999 will come back full force, with mass suicides being planned and executed throughout the world. Now, I’m not trying to offend religious people (if I was, you’d know it), but if you consider an alien visitor’s role in various religious texts and doctrines, you’ll probably find that…well…there isn’t one (meanwhile, the Scientologists sit on the sidelines, sipping Chianti and giggling uncontrollably).  And those groups unable to think and function outside the box of their religious beliefs will have an awfully rough time adjusting…and let’s face it, it would hardly be the first time religion has been the cause of mass death.

Now keep in mind that my predictions aren’t nearly as factually sound as, oh, say…Sylvia Browne (number 40 is the reference, but be sure to check out the rest of the “wouldn’t it be nice if..” list), simply educated guesses based on my perception of our world.

Personally, I think it would be awesome, and I wholeheartedly welcome our new alien overlords!  FREE HEALTHCARE PLZ.

But it’s completely satirical!

Turns out the mockumentary screenplay I’ve been writing in my spare time probably won’t see the light of day anytime soon. Not unless I can collaborate with like-minded individuals about extracting the comedic elements of dead baby eating.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “How can eating dead babies not be funny?!”

I know, and I’ve asked myself that very question throughout this entire process. However, the whole point of a mockumentary is depicting ridiculous happenings in a real sort of way. So, in order to do so, I’ve actually had to come up with scenarios in which some unbalanced entrepreneur could actually go about starting and supplying a catering service specializing in dead baby.

Well…I’ve actually done that. I created a very intricate process from which the main character is supplied dead babies for cooking. I’ve written it in a way that it’s completely plausible for the audience to believe the main character is doing this. The problem is working it around in a way that’s, well…funny. Don’t get me wrong, the end result of trying to launch a business of serving people dead babies? Hilarious. However, the process leading to the supply of dead babies? Not as funny as I would’ve hoped. In fact it’s rather morbid for the prospect of a mockumentary.

So, this project gets put on the back burner until I can find a way to make it less morbidly disturbing and more darkly comedic. Not that I regret it, it was damn fun to write. Except for the fact that if anyone read it as is, they’d likely think me a psychopath. Sigh.

Obligatory Intro

So I made a blog.

Honestly, I don’t expect this to amount to much more than a casual side project. In fact, the word “project” itself seems like a major overstatement. However, I made it, and I feel like I should explain why…and I suppose, divulge a bit about myself.

My name is Lillian.

I’m 21 years old and I’ve lived in Newark, New Jersey my entire life. I feel like I exemplify the definition of “wasted potential”. Throughout my childhood, I’d always been an overachiever, a good student, and a good kid. When high school came, I hit a 180 and spent the next four years exhibiting the bare minimum of my potential. Why? I’m still not sure.

I graduated high school in 2004 with a mediocre grade point average and went to Kean University. I dropped out after a month. This was for a number of reasons. First of all, a two hour train commute is an awful start to any day, and I was walking around campus tired and angry before my classes even started. Second of all, it was entirely too difficult to find like-minded people there. My social anxiety combined with my own personal curse of keen observational skills makes me hyper sensitive to displays of douchebaggery, which I now know is found on any college campus, but back then was too wrapped up in distaste for my surroundings to realize.

The next few years consist of me trying and failing to continue my education. This is probably my greatest regret in life, but I haven’t given up yet. Right now, I think this is largely due to my not knowing what the hell to do with my life and not wanting to waste my parents’ money. I know I’m intelligent, and I have many varied interests, but currently haven’t the means nor the willpower to jump into a four year academic commitment for a profession that I’m not even sure I’m cut out for. My current short term goal is to earn enough to move out of my parents’ house.  I feel this will give me the confidence boost I need to get my life together, and eventually go back to school part time without the financial strain on my parents; because despite the shambles my life is in at the moment, I have every intention to finish school. I read constantly, in a lame attempt to compensate for not being in college.

As you see now, I’m in a rut. I made this blog as an outlet for my frustrations. And I certainly have a lot of frustration. Thus, the title of this blog being, Periodic Inexplicable Bitterness. Expect brutal honesty and snarkiness and, maybe, the occasional “something went right and I’m happy” post. Basically, I made this for me, and I’m going to use it.